The Beauty of Feeling Home in 2 Countries
Going back home for the holidays is always a beautiful feeling when you’ve been away for a few months.
So imagine returning back home after a year… the longest you’ve ever been away.
This was me in 2020 and it was my first time ever truly feeling homesick. Not to mention that this was during COVID so plenty of my travel plans were cancelled as I sat twiddling my thumbs in my apartment in the Netherlands.
When I was first coming home, I realized I didn’t miss much about the states besides my people- which is saying a lot in itself.
And while packing all of your things and moving across the world when you’ve only known this one place all your life is not the easier decision to make, it’s life-changing.
Let’s get into my experience since moving to the Netherlands in 2019.
There will be plenty of change
When you return home after being away for a long time, you’ll notice 1 or 2 things.
1. You’ll notice things have changed a lot since you left.
2. You’ll notice YOU have changed a lot since you left.
For me, it was the latter.
I became a lot more honest and direct in my conversations. Traditionally, that was something we never did in my circles.
For more background, I’m a pretty non-confrontational dude by nature. I would always want people to like me and agree with me.
Being in a more direct and honest environment (the Netherlands), I learned that for people to like you, you don’t need to be agreeable.
For my more confrontational people out there, you may be looking at your screen like “duh…” but that’s something that I learned along the way… and I’m so glad I did.
You realize who means the most to you
When you have little time back home, it’s only natural that you prioritize that time to see certain people.
And that’s exactly what I did in order to make the most out of time I had.
Going from living in the Netherlands by myself and having plenty of time to relax and recharge to barely having a moment alone back in the states was… draining to say the least.
Mind you that it was all mostly self-inflicted, but I still lost a lot of energy trying to see everyone I wanted to but what I realized was:
Energy comes back. Time doesn’t.
So I’m happy to have spent the time and energy that I did with my loved ones.
Your routine might disappear
Pretty much everything I was doing in the Netherlands changed as soon as I got to the states.
My diet.
Working out.
Meditating.
Doing yoga.
Pretty much all of my self-care.
I lacked a lot of discipline when I came back to the states and I didn’t have much urgency to do these things because I was constantly filling my time with visiting my people.
This had a lot to do with the change in environment as well.
But the good news is that I had a lot of compassion for myself. There’s no need to feel guilty, especially if I’ll only be home for a certain amount of time.
It was mostly a mindset thing but once I accepted it, I truly got to enjoy how I was spending my time guilt-free.
There was so much change for me returning back home after leaving my new home- which I’m sure is common for most people who move away.
But the most beautiful thing I noticed was that the sadness I had after leaving the US and visiting all of my people was immediately made up with total excitement to get back to my life in the Netherlands.
I missed the lifestyle I’d created for myself and all of my people.
Then I realized that I’m blessed to have 2 different homes.
It doesn’t feel like I have two parts of one heart split between 2 different places. It feels like I have two fully functional hearts in the US and in The Netherlands.
I definitely wanna drop more hearts all over the world but for right now, 2 hearts is better than 1.
For my people who have moved away from your long time home, do you feel the same? Or do you love one place more than the other? Let me know in the comments!
